some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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