'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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