Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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