My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
