There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Congratulations! We have a period
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