Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
