So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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