I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
this boner is exhausting
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
