He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
