She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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