Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I am mentally ready for anal.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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