I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
