I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
