Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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