Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
