Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
he thought i was a dude.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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