why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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