Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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