i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
