i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
