Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
