found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
ok first of all what the fuck
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
