she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
