So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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