So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
