Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
