Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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