Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
