I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I just found a bag of teeth...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize