ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
