so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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