She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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