I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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