So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
