I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I showed him my bush... on skype.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
