Me too!
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
