I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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