arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
