I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
