U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
