she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
