he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
