Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
