dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
