If that was your dad, he is hot
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
