There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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