Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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