it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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