You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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