Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
