I was born with a shot glass in my hand
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
